In all honesty, the hardest person to dress for your big day is the Mother of the Bride. And yes, that is a ‘title’ because this is someone who has a key-roll in your story. Your mother, in most cases throughout your life, is used to taking a back seat to let your dreams become a reality. Trust us when we say that this event is no different. She will make sure you have everything you want and need for this wedding without one time stopping to think of herself. This means it is up to you as a bride need to make sure she knows that what she is wearing is just as important as what you have chosen for your bridesmaids.
When you think about the order process for your bridesmaids you should also be thinking about your mothers. If the bridesmaids take four months to order, you’re not going to wait until four months before the wedding to tell them what you have decided on right? So do not do this to your moms, and more importantly, don’t let them do this to themselves! The Mother of the Bride (MOB), and Groom (MOG) need to look as fabulous as the rest of your wedding party; which seems obvious but for some reason is in most cases an afterthought. If it’s not too late for you to make sure they feel important, this info should help you along the way.
There are a few things to keep in mind to ease the pain of MOB/MOG shopping. First, as soon as you have set in stone all of your bridesmaids’ style and color info you need to promptly begin helping/sharing this info with the MOB. In most cases we suggest that the MOB choose her dress first so that the MOG can feel really good about what she chooses and doesn’t fret that she may not blend or fit into the big picture. This is another reason that your MOB should not wait until the last minute, it isn’t fair to leave the MOG hanging!
Photo by Rich Smith Photography
As far as color and style goes, you should take several things into account. The color of your bridesmaid’s dresses has a very big impact on the overall look of your photos. You are painting your own picture here so you’ll want to make sure your Mother of the Bride looks as though she belongs at the same event. If the you prefer long you need to state that up front. Furthermore, if the bridesmaids are in short dresses, the MOB can still wear long; especially if the bride is in a long gown and the men are wearing pants.
It helps to make sure her color is complementary of the bridesmaids, not the same shade of course but you wouldn’t want your girls in blush and your MOB in Tennessee orange; am I right? So, do not tell her to pick whatever she wants. This makes it harder for her! Give her a few color examples that you know will be accents to the flowers, linens, etc. And remember, if she can’t find a dress that she loves in your color suggestions there are also tuxes/suits involved. She can complement them and do a very neutral black, gray, navy and blend in wonderfully. Try to keep an open mind to make sure she gets to feel her best too. She is the Hostess of this event after all and she needs to feel confident.
Photo by Rich Smith Photography
Now, we have the Mother of the Bride squared away, let’s talk about the Mother of the Groom. It is important that once the MOB has made her final decision that she share this info with the MOG. This will eliminate them looking too alike or too different. We are not a fans of using the same color unless, of course, you’re going with an all black or some sort of neutral matching theme, in that case we would be completely on board with them both being in the same color. Do not make her guess what your wishes are, but don’t be too pushy either. Always be willing to hear her out before saying no to anything. Trust us when we say she just wants to do the right thing and make sure she doesn’t look like one of Cinderella’s step sisters.
As for length: First, if the MOB is wearing long the MOG can still wear short if she prefers, but she better really love her legs because it is likely hers will be the only ones showing. Second, if the MOB has chosen short the MOG should follow suit or she will probably look more formal than the bride’s mother which is a no-no.
Now it’s time to kick start the shopping experience for a Mother of the Bride/Groom dress, so go out and have some fun with your moms! They are as excited about this day as you are so make sure to include them and make tons of fun memories. You’ll be surprised how much fun this can be with them. If you let it, dressing room humor can create some of the best laughs of your lives. If you do not live in the same town as the moms be sure y’all are sharing photos and texts or phone calls to make sure everyone is on the same page. We even suggest to video chat once the moms narrow it down. Happy Shopping!
The Monica’s Girls